Fat Is Not a Bad Word: Fat Positive

Showing posts with label Fat Positive. Show all posts

Pudgy Middle Fingers Up

I have curves in all the 'wrong' places.

Sometimes I eat two or three donuts in one sitting.

My back rolls and tummy rolls don't magically disappear when I stand up.

My upper arms are thicker than some people's thighs.

My wrists aren't delicate, my fingers aren't slender, my ankles aren't shapely.

My clothing is rarely what stylists would call 'flattering'. I refuse to minimize my size.

I use a cane. I have multiple chronic illnesses. I'm not healthy.

The truth is, I'm not a 'good fatty'. And I don't care.

There's Nothing Wrong With Being Fat

1. Fat is an adjective. Just like short, brown-eyed, brunette. I'm all of those. I wouldn't get offended if someone said, "hey, you've got brown hair!" (although I would wonder why they feel a need to point out the obvious). I've come to realize that "hey, you're fat!" is exactly the same thing. I am fat. Thanks for noticing.

2. Fat isn't an illness. All bodies have fat. Some more than others. Just like some bodies have more melanin or less hair. Fat isn't going to kill you. In fact, this study shows that metabolically healthy fat people are less likely to suffer from heart failure than thin people with Metabolic Syndrome. And that's just one of many proving that fat isn't the big (no pun intended) scary killer we thought it was.

3. Fat is fabulous. When's the last time you ran your hands along your tummy, admired the softness of your arms, massaged your own hands or feet? Fat bodies are amazing. They're exquisitely plush and fun to touch. Our bodies are comforting to hug, so squishy and inviting.

4. Being fat isn't a moral failing. You didn't "let yourself go". You're not "a lazy slob". You're not a "bad role model for the children!!!1!". You're not disappointing/disgusting/turning off your lover if you put on some pounds (and if you are, you can easily lose 100+ pounds by dumping that judgmental asshole right now).

Image via The Militant Baker

Why I Changed My Blog's Name

Until last week, this blog was called Polish and Sparkle. Now it's Fat Is Not a Bad Word. Why?

If I could impart one piece of wisdom to women (people of all genders, but especially women) around the world, it would be that all bodies, no matter their size, are worthy and beautiful, regardless of their representation in the media. Larger bodies are especially abused in the mainstream, simply because of their size, and that's bullshit. Being fat isn't a bad thing. The word itself isn't a bad thing. I wanted to distill that message into a blog title, so Fat Is Not a Bad Word was born.

Besides, the name Polish and Sparkle didn't really encapsulate the message I want to send. That, and a bunch of people mistook it for a blog about nail polish!

I think I was too shy to give my blog a clear name (read: with "fat" in it) and beat around the proverbial bush, talking about body image and fashion and life as a fat girl and how my disability and career and travel are affected by my size, without just saying it, loud and clear: I am a fat person. I'm passionate about helping fat people live the life of their dreams, and not just in spite of their size. I was doing myself, and my readers a disservice by not calling this blog what it really is: a blog for fat people, by a fat person. I love my skinny sisters, but they have Vogue and LouLou and pretty much every fashion and women's lifestyle magazine (and blog, and TV show, etc etc etc). I'm ready to cater to my niche, my interests, my lifestyle, without being afraid I'm leaving out the skinny girls. Kind of like how Essence isn't for white girls and Bust isn't for non-feminists.

Fatphobia and body shaming are a worldwide epidemic. People of size face discrimination every single day, simply because of their size. I won't keep quiet or play nice or hide what I believe under a title that sugar coats it for the fat haters. I won't be a "good fatty". I'll shout it, loud and proud: Fat Is Not a Bad Word.

Image Source (click through and you can actually buy the keychain/necklace pictured, handmade by an artist on Etsy!).

FatIsNotaBadWord

7 year-old me plies and twirls with grace. She loves to dance. But sometimes she can't focus on the barre in front of her or the music on the stereo, because she knows she's the biggest of all the girls in her class. Even a couple adults giggle at her chubby thighs in her little leotard when she's front and centre at the recital.

11 year-old me sits rigid in her chair at school, sucking in her stomach so her classmates won't notice its bulge over her jeans. They're from the adults' section, not Siblings or Justice or one of those trendy stores all the pretty girls shop at. She tries not to think about that.

13 year-old me sings her Torah portion before an audience of hundreds of friends and family members and her parents' colleagues. This is one of the happiest, proudest days of her life. And her dress is fantastic. But she's still afraid she looks fat in it.

16 year-old me fixates on that word, fat. Boys in her class spew insults laced with the word, as though the big tits and round asses they drool over are worth any less when paired with a round tummy or double chin. As if girls' bodies are eye candy. As if the female population of our school is only there for the boys' entertainment.

22 year-old me looks in the mirror and loves what she sees... often. But some days she can't help but whimper, "why did you let yourself go?". "Why do you eat so much?". "Why must you draw so much attention? Why must you take up space?".

Now I'm ready to change. But not my body. My fat body is glorious the way it is, rolls and scars and all. No, I'm ready to change society. One size 3X dress, one fatphobic comment, one diet tip at a time.

Beautiful, chubby little girls should not grow up wanting to be invisible, to stop eating until they fade to nothing, to accept the catcalls and rude remarks and "I'm just worried about your health".

Young women, whether they're a size 2 or a 12 or a 22 or a 32 should never question their worth just because a so-called health magazine or a 'caring' friend or Weight Watchers tells them to.

The systematic oppression of 'obese' people needs to stop. Now.

Let's reclaim mirrors. Gaze at yourself lovingly, touching every curve, kissing every scar, adoring every inch.

And let's reclaim the very word that tortured us as children, that we waved like a white flag, that we swallowed like a bitter pill and choked on when it got stuck in our throat.

Fat.

FatIsNotABadWord.

Stay beautiful. Love,
Becca

Being Fat

My perfectly imperfect, gorgeous and fat body.

Being fat is awesome; I give good hugs. I'm soft and fun to touch. I look great naked or clothed.

The only things I hate about being fat? The fact that I can't walk into more than 2 stores at my local mall and find something that fits over my head and covers my entire torso, let alone an outfit that's affordable and makes me feel pretty.

That, and the stigma. People stop me in the street and tell me I'm 'killing myself by living an obese lifestyle' (whatever that means?!?!), comment on my Instagram that I'm 'fat and ugly' and I can't get medical care without being told my BMI is off the charts and I should 'probably consider going on a diet'.

But these aren't symptoms of being fat. This is the reality of being fat in a fatphobic world.

I won't change just to fit in to a society that systematically oppresses people of my size, simply because of our size. I will stand, fat and proud, and fight for the right to exist happily, stylishly and without stigma.

Fat Girl Takes On the Mall

Summer is the perfect time to rock a cute crop top or fun short shorts that show off your great legs. I always look forward to this season of barbecues and beach days and (fashionable) fun in the sun.

But this year has started out a little different.

"My shorts don't fit."
"Neither does this pair."
"All my skirts are too small,"

I complained to my mom, tossing item after item out of my closet. That's when I realized it: my endocrinologist had said PCOS can cause continued weight gain, even during treatment. I'm still gaining weight. Fuck!

Don't get me wrong: I love being fat. I love my body. And I consider myself a fat activist. Learning to love myself means accepting myself at any size, whether it's a 2 or a 32. But growing out of your clothes at a rate that feels unhealthy and puts a dent in your (already half-empty) wallet? It's hard to cope.

So off I go to the mall. The biggest mall in the biggest city in Canada. I have limited funds, since my disability means I can't work as much as I'd like to, but I'm sure I'll find something.

Wrong.

With multiple floors and hundreds of stores, you'd think there'd be at least a hundred that carry sizes over 16.

Nope. Not even 10.

Let's count them:
1 Forever 21
2 Reitmans
3 Sears

Three stores. In an entire mall. The scary thing is that I have more luck at the Eaton Centre than I do at other malls in Toronto.

I'm fortunate that I can sometimes fit into a 16 or XXL, the largest straight size available, so stores like Old Navy and the Disney Store are not entirely off limits. Still, who wants to squeeze into t-shirts and cotton dresses, crying "I'm so lucky this blouse is cut big!"? And as a fat woman, I'm already not taken seriously in the office, so do I really want Tinkerbell's face on everything I own?

I'm glad the three fatshion- friendly stores above exist. But... why aren't their plus sizes mixed in with their "normal" clothes? Why is the fabric quality superb in straight sizes and so-so at best, ghastly at worst in plus? Why should fat girls wear low quality clothes that cost more, just because they're bigger? And why are the few stores in Canada that specialize in plus sizes extravagantly priced and rarely in malls?

We're being punished for our size. We're being punished for eating 'too much', for having illnesses like PCOS, for our genetics, for happening to have double chins.

Do I begrudge my slenderer friends their fast fashion, their hundreds of stores, the breeze that shopping is for them? Not at all. I just want my experience to be as good as theirs.

Image source: Reitmans (one of the few stores at Eaton Centre which caters to plus size shoppers).

Red, White & Disney: What I Wore 23.1.2013

Red, White & Disney. The day I wore this outfit. I was in Florida-- at Disney World's Epcot, to be precise-- the sun was shining, and I was extraordinarily happy. What a perfect day for a comfy, laid-back, boldly coloured outfit.