Selena Gomez, I'm Literally a HUGE Fan

I love being happy with me yall #theresmoretolove 😂

Selena Gomez sought counselling after fat shaming comments.

There's a lot to dissect in that sentence. Let's!

1. Selena Gomez: I really like her. I respect her commitment to improving her singing voice, the fact that she recently came out as having Lupus, and her passion for helping charitable causes like Unicef.

2. sought counselling: Good for her! I think everyone could use therapy. We should all at least give it a try! Therapy teaches valuable coping skills and allows a healthy outlet for anger, sadness and fear. I wish more celebrities would discuss their medical and psychiatric treatments in order to normalize them.

3. fat shaming comments: This is the portion of the sentence during which the little devil on my shoulder has fire coming out of his nose and he jabs me with his pitch fork. "Fat shaming" is a loaded phrase.

Any person, of any size, can be fat shamed. Fat shaming is, quite literally, shaming someone for being fat (whether they are or aren't). It attacks them for being what society deems "too big" to be physically acceptable.

Says Selena to Elle Magazine: "I'd land at the airport and people would yell out, 'You're fat!'" It was awful". [Source].

I don't doubt the awfulness of that kind of public humiliation. Been there, done that. Many times. But Selena's reaction doesn't take into account that:

1. Selena is not fat, and

2. Plenty of Selena's fans are fat, and experience this (and much worse) every single day.

The article continues:

"This was the first year I ever dealt with anyone talking about my body," the singer—​who's been working since the age of seven—said. But the whole ordeal was inspiration for her new album cover. "Even if I did gain weight, I'm fine. That's what the picture represents." 

It must be bliss, reaching the age of 23 before one's body being the topic of discussion! I, and many of my fat colleagues, can recall being told as a child we were "too big" or "eating too much".

And the fact that Selena gained weight and doesn't care? Awesome. Weight shouldn't be her focus when she's just released her fifth studio album, Revival, and is doing what she loves.

But I wonder: Is Selena Gomez okay with gaining weight because she's still in the realm of "acceptable"? She still has a "normal" BMI, doesn't look big next to friends like Taylor Swift, can still fit into designer duds? Or is she okay with gaining weight because she loves herself and her body the way they are, and believes weight doesn't define a person's success or attractiveness?

As a huge fan of Selena (literally and figuratively), I truly hope the latter is accurate.

Maybe, with the success of Revival, will come a revival of pop stars' shunning beauty ideals.

Why I'm Heartbroken About Cory Monteith's Passing

Cory was just a 'normal' young, handsome guy who worked so hard to break into the 'biz'. finally did it, inspired so many people to follow their dreams and do what they're passionate about and embrace music as a healing, fun, powerful way to connect with others. 

Fans later found out there was another layer to the story: Cory was battling addiction. He was so brave about it. He admitted he had a problem and sought help. 

But now he's gone. 

I hope he isn't merely remembered as "that kid from Glee" or "the singing Canadian with the drug addiction", or worse, "just another dumb star who did enough drugs to kill himself". I hope his legacy is love and song and the courage to face your problems (especially with mental health) head-on.

Rest in peace, Cory. We love you. & Monteith fans, don't stop believing.

Pantone, Bathtubs & Justin Timberlake Doing Things: Link Love 2.3.2013

Soooo much cake batter goodness! Yum. More deliciousness: 75 healthy casseroles.

Bathtubs with a view look positively dreamy.

It's kind of obvious that I love Seth MacFarlane, but I admit I didn't know all of these facts about him. I do have his CD though, and it's amazing.

Are you dressing for yourself, or dressing to put others at ease?

This is spot on: 11 reasons why Jennifer Lawrence is your BFF in your head.

These Pantone Pairings will wow foodies and design nerds alike.

12 legendary Hollywood stars at home.

What do we want from male feminists?

The Dead Poets Society cast then and now. I adore Robert Sean Leonard.

Internet raises money for homeless man who returned lost engagement ring.
Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
Never has that old adage been more literally on the money than in the case of Billy Ray Harris, a homeless man in Kansas City, Missouri who returned a diamond ring to a woman who accidentally dropped it in his coin cup when she gave him some cash.
Harris returned the ring to the woman and now people from all over are coming together to help him out...
Harris has taken his good fortune in stride, saying, “I like it, but I don’t think I deserve it. What I actually feel like is, ‘what has the world come to when a person who returns something that doesn’t belong to him and all this happens?’”

6 words English got from Hindi. So cool! I had no idea were the word 'shampoo' originated.

Here are a bunch of pictures of Justin Timberlake doing things. 

Have a great weekend!

Oscars 2013: Wrap-Up

Good morning, darlings! Did you watch the Oscars last night? I missed the first half (though I caught up on the good stuff later on), but had my eyes glued to the screen when Jennifer Lawrence won Best Actress. I'd say that, and Seth MacFarlane's singing and dancing were the highlights, for me. How about you?

If you missed the show and want to catch up, or simply want to relive the magic, check out these links:

-Full list of 2013 Oscar Winners. Anne Hathaway won Best Supporting Actress. I'm glad (and not surprised). You?
-35 People Who Just Realized That Seth MacFarlane is Actually Hot made me laugh. I think it's the phrasing, and maybe the fact that I've had a crush on him for the while. The juxtaposition of political humour and Old Hollywood entertainer just gets to me, I guess.
-Red Carpet fashion here and here. Whose look is your favourite?
-The entire Oscars show is available online, for the first time ever.
-Seth MacFarlane's opening monologue and musical numbers.
-Quvenzhane Walis' puppy purses are adorbs!

Finally, since Oscar Winner (!!!) JLaw is clearly popular around here....

-Jennifer Lawrence Tells Ryan Seacrest That She's Starving.
-She tripped at the Oscars... and still looked cool.
-Her best Oscar red carpet gifs.

Best Dressed at The Golden Globes

 Tina Fey & Amy Poehler

Helena Bonham Carter

Francesca Eastwood 

Jennifer Garner 

Jennifer Lawrence 

Zooey Deschanel 

Lucy Liu 

Kaley Cuoco

KStew hates heels; The Internet is pissed

 
Celebrity gossip rags (and now The Internet) are making a fuss about Kristen Stewart's disdain for high heels.

"Anyone who’s seen photos of Kristen Stewart in one of her perpetually occurring thousand-dollar-gown-and-ratty-sneakers getups... may be surprised to learn that the Twilight star works with a professional stylist".

Actually, no. Most actors have stylists. Also, most of us don't spend our days pondering the lives of said actors.

And really, 'getups'? Only tabloid writers and exasperated fathers who say to their teens "you're going out in that?!" say 'getups'.

Besides, every job has uniform requirements and being a celebrity is no different. But it's not like Kristen eschews heels and fancy dresses completely. She makes her appearance, then changes into her sneakers.

"[The stylist's] name is Tara Swennen, and she wishes Stewart would wear heels just as much as the rest of us".

Really? I don't "wish Stewart would wear heels". I like her laid-back, 'real girl' vibe. Not everyone is into wearing party dresses and stilettos. It's cool that she's confident enough to flaunt it.

"Unlike the rest of us, Swennen actually gets paid to try and convince Stewart to wear heels. And most of the time, it still doesn’t work".

Well damn, doesn't that suck? At least it means that tabloid journalist still has a job, right?

Image via ONTD

An Open Letter To Rebel Wilson

Rebel Wilson is a great actor, she was hilarious in Bridesmaids, and she seems like a genuinely nice person.

But, I don't support her choice to be Jenny Craig Australia's spokesperson, because:
1, she's sending an awful message to her fans, and 2, weight loss almost never works anyway.

In an interview, she said ‘this [obesity] is something I can fix. So I should probably fix it'.

Except you can't 'fix' obesity, because weight loss almost never works, and because obesity may not even be a problem to begin with.

Rebel has lost 30-something pounds and hopes to lose more. She says, 'I guess with being this size you kind of put yourself into the friendzone. You never think anyone will be attracted to you at this weight. So you don’t really go out' [source].

Here's my open letter to her:

Dear Rebel Wilson,

You're gorgeous. You're talented. You're hilarious. And you're smart. 

 But you're doing something very, very stupid.

Your Jenny Craig partnership? Bad idea. 

Many of your fans (including me) feel alienated. We're expected to lose weight if we're fat and we enjoy your movies? If we have a killer sense of humour and a successful career like you, that isn't enough unless we drop a few dress sizes? That's the implicit message you're sending.

I'm sure your desire to lose weight stems from your insecurity about being in 'the friendzone', being unloved, your career ending too soon. But your fears are irrational.

Anyone who doesn't like you because of your looks doesn't deserve the pleasure, the privilege, the honour of seeing your movies or being your fan, friend or lover. 

Anyone who says you need to lose weight to have a successful, long career is full of shit (look at Tess Munster, Beth Ditto, Melissa McCarthy and all these famous fat babes).

Anyone who says you need to lose weight to be healthy is full of shit, too.

In conclusion: don't worry about your weight. Love how you look. Take care of your body. And focus on your career, girl, because it's red-hot!

Yours in friendship, 

Rebecca Esther

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What is Trichotillomania? Q + A

Thanks to Olivia Munn's recent coming out as suffering from Trichotillomania, I'm inspired to write about the disorder which she and I, as well as 2-4% of people are affected by.

What is Trichotillomania?

Trichotillomania (also known as Trich or hair-pulling) is an impulse control disorder which causes the sufferer to pull out hair from her scalp, eye lashes or other parts of her body due to intense anxiety, stress or impulse. Trich is related to anxiety, mood and tic disorders as well as dermatillomania.

Who is affected by Trich?

2-4% of the population suffers from this disorder, although it is highly likely that that statistic should be higher, considering the stigma attached to mental illnesses causing sufferers to stay 'in the closet'. 90% of 'trichsters' are female.

What causes trich?

Like most mental illnesses, trichotillomania's prevalence is impacted by genetics and comorbid disorders, although scientists are unsure what other factors, if any, come into play.

It is not the suffers' fault!!! (extra emphasis highly necessary). It is not a choice, and is nothing to be ashamed of. Like diabetes, depression or an allergy, trich is a medical illness and deserves to be taken seriously.

What treatment options are available?

Unlike physical ailments, mental illnesses can be very difficult to treat. Fortunately, utilization of medication, cognitive behavioural therapy and support networks can make trich very manageable.

What did Olivia Munn say about her experience with trich?

Olivia shared, "I rip out my eyelashes..." She also divulged that she has a comorbid disorder: social anxiety disorder. "I don't think anyone would describe me as weak, but I don't want people to be mean to me... I moved around a lot when I was younger and no one was nice to the new kid. So there is always this feeling that someone will make fun of me". [Source]

What's your personal experience with trich?

I've pulled my hair for as long as I can remember. As a child suffering from Selective Mutism, I often twirled my hair in an effort to self-soothe, and when that didn't work I would resort to pulling out my hair.

Like most trich sufferers, I was completely unaware of what I was doing until I started therapy.

Even now, in my occasional bouts of hair-pulling, I am often unaware of what I am doing until I've started.

I'm happy to say that with a mixture of learning healthy self-soothing techniques and treating my comorbid disorders, my trich is largely nonexistant.

There is hope!


More information:

Request information about hair-pulling from Trichotillomania Learning Center
Follow Olivia Munn on twitterFollow me on twitter & ask me anything!

Chris Brown Rewarded For Suffocating Girlfriend

Thanks to "that time" he beat up his girlfriend, Chris Brown is more famous than ever.

And lots of girls think he's hot:

"I don't know why Rihanna complained. Chris Brown could beat me anytime [sic] he wanted to". [Via]

Brown's fans, of course, conveniently forget the fact that Rihanna couldn't complain; Brown's brutality escalated until he was "choking and threatening to kill [Rihanna] before she lost consciousness". At that point a neighbour called 911. [Source]. Imagine if she hadn't?!

"But that's all right", Brown's fans say. "He's hot. And he performed at the Grammy's, and it was, like, totally awesome.

"And OMG he has such a way with words: just look at this recent tweet, where he totes slams his haters".

Because his "haters" are completely out of line, being revolted by a (so-called) man who inflicted severe injuries on an innocent person?

At least if Brown had been remorseful, proven his behaviour that night was completely out of character, that he was truly sorry and would never do it again, maybe he would deserve some acceptance from society and continued record sales.

But how can people call themselves fans of a man like that? They should be ashamed. Almost as ashamed as Brown should be of himself.

Some Valentine's Day Ideas

Now that February is here, Valentine's Day is on nearly everyone's mind. Here's some advice from yours truly, plus some of your favourite celebs-- for single ladies, couples & BFFs.

Delicious wine & a movie. Amy Lee suggests: "If you're single, watch a movie like Dirty Dancing or Sleepless in Seattle and drink plenty of red wine".

Vantines aren't only for lovers. Send an anonymous love note to someone you admire.

"Buy your own chocolate! Not from the drugstore- go someplace decadent like Godiva and spend $30 on a box of the good stuff. It's so luxe to treat yourself," enthuses writer Jennifer Weiner.

If you're not a chocoholic, go for a nice bottle of pink champagne, as Lauren Weisberger suggests. Your friends will love it too!

Self-love is essential. Take this opportunity to buy yourself a little treat, like a vibrator or lingerie. You're hot & you deserve it!

An awesome idea from Jennifer Garner: "If you don't have a boyfriend, just grab your girlfriends and go. My best Valentine's Day, I took my friend, both of us were single, and said, 'Screw it, we're going to go have a romantic weekend.' We went to the wine country, we stayed in romantic bed-and-breakfasts, and we had wine tastings and great meals and massages. We were surrounded by couples in love, and we did not care."

If you're in a relationship, do as Dan Savage says & "fuck first, eat later". Skip the crowds by having a late, romantic dinner-- one that follows mind-blowing orgasms and a fabulously intimate few hours together.

There are more ideas to come, but I thought I'd get you started! Do you have any ideas to share?

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