Showing posts with label Becca. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Becca. Show all posts

My Bittersweet 25th Birthday


Birthdays are bittersweet for me. Another year means another 365 days of illness that no one understands, another 365 days without my father, another 365 days of falling short of everything I had planned for myself when I was 16, able bodied, and ready to take on the world.

But... I also love birthdays. Birthdays are a time of reflection, self care, spending time with people I love, dressing up just for fun. And this year my birthday coincides with Rosh Hashanah, which makes it all the more special.

I'm still getting used to celebrating special events as a spoonie. You'd think I'd have the hang of it by now, being sick for almost 10 years. But I don't. Does anyone ever really 'get used to' being sick?

I'm spending my birthday at the pain clinic with my mom, who's also a spoonie (my turn getting huge needles shoved into my head, neck and back is tomorrow) and then at the pharmacy, getting refills on my 1835892 medications. And I've had a migraine for over 30 hours, so that might add to the 'fun'.

I do get to eat my mom's homemade lasagna for dinner tonight and plan for our mini trip to Buffalo later this week, so it's definitely not a bad birthday. It just takes getting used to. I miss going to school and getting tons of 'happy birthdays', and hugs and presents from relatives who don't talk to me any more, and being able to afford an amazing cake, and not being in excruciating pain for the duration of my big day.

But spoonies can't be choosers, or something. Right?

My 25th birthday isn't what I expected it to be. But I'm not quite what 24 year-old me expected me to be, either.

Image: This gorgeous cake topper from EllaCelebration on Etsy.

Momentum: My Word For 2015


Whether it's reaching Fat Is Not a Bad Word's audience, or reaching my goals, or even reaching the end of the block (thanks to my chronic fatigue and arthritic ankle), it sometimes seems like I'm moving so slowly, that I'm not getting anywhere at all.

That's why momentum is my word of the year.

Getting to where you want to be takes a lot of time and effort, especially if you're fat; fewer people take you seriously, it's harder to get a job, you have to spend longer in front of the mirror to make yourself look 'acceptable'-- and even more so if you're also disabled. I'm frustrated with how society's reactions toward my size and my disabilities limit me, but I won't let them stop me. Even when I feel like giving up. 

The more I try, the more I push myself, the more baby steps I take, the more consistent I am, the more momentum I build. Good things rarely come easy, but they will come if I keep going.

What's your word for 2015?

The art pictured above is borrowed from Brave Mable. You can see more & purchase art here.

Explaining Your Mental Illness to Your Date

The hardest part of dating isn't saying hello for the first time. It's not thinking up topics of conversation, choosing a restaurant, or even staying safe when you meet in person for the first time. When you have an oft- misunderstood mental illness (or two or three), the hardest part of getting to know anyone is explaining it-- and hoping they understand.

Last month I met up with a New Guy (yep, the one I had a 14 hour phone conversation with!), and everything seemed great. We had lots in common, he was fun to talk to and he laughed at all my jokes. But I was terrified that none of that would matter when he found out about my Panic Disorder and emetaphobia.

I believe in full disclosure when I start talking to someone new, whether a potential friend or date. It's less painful for both of us if the "eeeew I can't date a crazy girl!" conversation happens right at the beginning, rather than after a few dates. So when we first start talking and it feels like things might be going somewhere, I say, "I feel I should let you know that I'm dealing with [insert illnesses here]. They do [sometimes] impact my day-to-day life, but I am actively working on treatment for them and don't consider them an obstacle to having a happy relationship". Either he'll flee, or he'll be understanding. I've had some people run, of course, but multiple people have told me coming out like that takes guts, and still others have said they have an anxiety disorder (or two), too. 

So this new guy knew about my health issues in advance. I just wasn't sure what would happen when he encountered a panic attack or a borderline episode.

Our first date, like our first phone call, wasn't typical, even though it started out that way. We were going to go out for coffee, and met right near a Tim's, but decided we liked each other enough, felt safe with each other, (and wanted to spend enough time together) that going to his place made sense. So we did. And we ended up talking for hours on end, about silly things, important things, things we're passionate about. We made out. We snuggled. And at some point, I started sobbing uncontrollably. Hello, anxiety. Thanks for dropping by, borderline.

Did New Guy call me crazy? Did he kick me out? Nope. He held me close and told me everything was fine. And now we've been happily together for over a month.

Moral of the story? Don't be ashamed to disclose the fact that you're dealing with (an) illness(es) to potential new beaux. If they're too immature to deal with that, they don't deserve you. Not even close.

Over to you: How has your mental illness impacted your love life?

Image Source: Wikimedia Commons

Things I Love Friday & Link Love 11.4.2014


Happy Friday, Sparklers! It's finally starting to feel like Spring here in Toronto, and I couldn't be happier. I'm more than ready to ditch my heavy winter coat and suede boots for sun dresses and sandals.

Next to New Year's, spring seems to be a time when many people make big changes in their lives. It's a time of rebirth, and we see that as inspiration, whether consciously or subconsciously. So I've been paying close attention to my own choices, and finding that I'm definitely on the bandwagon. A new beau (about whom I'm ecstatic!), renewed commitment to being the healthiest spoonie I can be, renewed ambition.

Little things that made my week:

♥ This "rare and beautiful sight"! Haha. Spearmint gum. Lots and lots of it. 14 hour phone conversations with someone special. ♥ Rocking the grunge look. ♥ Raisin bread with peanut butter. So simple, so healthy, so yummy. Skyping with David. ♥ This Pinterest board.

Link Love:


♥ I had no idea you could make this many desserts in a slow cooker.

♥ More deliciousness: This garlic butter spaghetti with herbs pasta looks amazing.

Sometimes reading about how successful businesspeople got started can serve as inspiration for budding entrepreneurs. If you're looking for a longer read, Entrepreneurs Turn Their Passions Into Profits is a good one.

50 fun, cheap dates (that aren't Netflix).

Kristen Bell's live rendition of "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" is adorable. She sings all three Annas' parts!

I love movie lists, and this is a good one. 

You probably won't make as much freelancing-- but you won't care.

So what's new with you? Tweet me or comment below; I'd love to know! 

Playing Catch-Up

Hi Sparklers! I've missed you.

I thought we'd play a little catch-up today, because it's been pretty quiet here. First there was Christmas, which I spent with my mom and David at Kalahari in Sandusky, OH. It was amazing! Then, being a spoonie, I had to spend a week in bed to recuperate from a few days' fun. Then I go a cold, and spent who-knows-how-long in bed because of that. And now I'm finally starting to get back to normal. My normal, anyway! 

Other stuff:

-I'm working on an article about coping with especially bad episodes of Trichotillomania. Have something to say? Comment below, or email me! If I use your tips, you'll be credited (of course).


-I've been pinning a lot! Join me on Pinterest. You'll especially like these boards: Travel and Coping With Chronic Illness.

-I'm also trying to be more active on Instagram. Join me? I post inspiration, travel snaps, and of course selfies, catstagrams and food pictures.

-I love (and intend to use!) this Seasonal Intention Calendar from Jess Lively.

-I can't help but daydream about these 10 weird and wonderful swimming pools.

-My fellow SAD-sufferers: this free ebook from Yes and Yes will make this time of year a little cheerier. I can't wait to finish reading it!

Oh what a wonderful morning!

Good morning, Sparklers!

I'm having my best morning in ages. Months! I am so happy I'm probably glowing.

I slept a lot yesterday, so I was up by 5:30 this morning. I curled up beside my mom and cats (all of whom were fast asleep) and read a bit of Jane Eyre (which I'm rereading for the first time since I was 16), played around on Tumblr, and just relaxed. My mom had to leave for work early today, so I left with her around 7. I went to a diner near my house and had eggs florentine and coffee while reading and writing. Then I ran errands, went for a walk (it felt so good to exercise!) and came home.

Now I'm sitting on my bed, listening to HIM, about to get to work on some social media tasks. My cats are sitting with me again, both probably surprised by how alert I am, or the fact that I'm actually wearing pants (not pyjama pants) and a bra.

So I just thought I'd type out a quick blog post to you, my darlings, because I've learned something this morning:

A good day can just happen, out of the blue. And you can make it happen. Even if the weather isn't great. Even if it's still winter and you have SAD. Even if you were depressed yesterday. Every day is an opportunity to create a good day. And even if you don't succeed, doing your best with the spoons you have is what matters. 

Seize the day, mes chรจres!

Image Via

How I'm Celebrating Turning 22

Since I just celebrated my birthday on the 3rd, I'm really excited to share a project I'm working on. Inspired by this story and The Birthday Project, in honour of my 22nd birthday, I pledge to perform 22 acts of kindness, throughout this month and this year. Items that have been struck out have been completed.

Here's what I have planned:

1 Help cats at an animal shelter
2 Get involved with No More/Joyful Heart Foundation
3 Help my mom with her new business venture
4 Compliment a stranger
5 Create another freebie for The Selectively Silent Child
6 Get involved with the Trichotillomania Learning Foundation
7 Write for/about a cause I believe in
8 Donate to Scarleteen
9 Go out of my way to hold the door for someone
10 Buy and flaunt a Cat Tee Mission shirt
11 Send letters to friends I don't talk to often enough
12 Buy a stranger breakfast
13 Slip inspirational quotes written on post-its into library books
14 Sign the HAES pledge
15 Take part in Starbucks Come Together
16 Give a fellow Greyhound passenger reading material and snacks for her trip
17 Explain Health At Every Size to someone who is (unintentionally) not being body posi
18 Learn more (and speak up about) more intersectional feminist issues
19 Leave friendly comments on a bunch of other bloggers' Instagrams
20 Return all the carts at TJ Maxx
21 Contribute to The Birthday Project
22 Host a giveaway at Polish and Sparkle (keep an eye out for it!)

Have you done a similar project? What are your plans for your birthday?

(photo source: PhotosByKim on Etsy)

So It's Decided

I feel like-- and I pray that-- this is the beginning of a big change in my life. Something new. Something exciting.

I am going to be affluent, poised, beautiful, enchanting, helpful, and filthy rich.

I'm tired of subsisting on too little; too little money, too little space, too little time, too little accomplished, and especially too little energy.

I'm going to travel more. Be more independent. I'm going to give more away and get more in return. I'm going to write. I'm going to talk. I'm going to devour delicious food and paperback novels and wear exquisite dresses and give my family my all and make some kind of impact in my readers' and clients' lives.

I'm tired of being sick and sick of being tired. I work work work at something (or nothing) for 36+ hours, until I pass out in bed, wilted. I can't do this anymore. And I won't.

My notebooks are empty. My bank accounts are empty. My suitcase is sitting, unused and dusty.

I eat greasy pizza and Red Delicious apples and potato chips and not much else. I don't exercise because I don't have the strength. I have my period 29 days out of 30 and cramps that kill and headaches that are relentless. My health is lousy. My face is scarred. I still have panic attacks. My sleep isn't restorative.

I'm going to get past these things, all these things, and soon. I just know it. I'm working hard. I'm trying to get healthier. I'm praying. I will do everything it takes to be healthy and happy and affluent and poised and beautiful and enchanting and helpful and rich.

Nothing can stop me now.

End of Winter White & Green Soup with Cheddar Cheese Scones


March is a magical month:
Winter slowly creeps away, letting spring flowers grow, temperatures rise and the sun stay out longer. Last weekend, I spent an afternoon with my dad, and we made a delicious end of winter lunch. We think you'll like it, so here's the recipe (and more mouth-watering pictures!).

Cheddar Cheese Scones

2 1/4 cups of all-purpose flour
2 tbsp granulated sugar
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup cold butter, cubed
1 1/4 cups cheddar, shredded
1 cup buttermilk
1 egg, lightly beaten (egg wash)

1 In a large bowl mix flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda,
cayenne pepper and salt.

2 Blend in butter using pastry cutter.

3 Add cheese and stir.

4 Add buttermilk and stir.

5 With floured hands, form a ball. Knead 10 times gently on a floured surface.

6 Pat out dough to 3/4" thickness and cut into rounds with a floured cutter.

7 Place rounds on an ungreased cookie sheet and lightly brush with egg wash.

8 Bake at 425• for 12-15 minutes until golden.

End of Winter Green and White Soup

8 cups water
2 bouillon cubes dissolved in boiling water or fresh vegetable stock
Potatoes, cubed
Onion, chopped
Celery, chopped
Olive oil
Spinach or rapini
Barley
1 bay leaf
Your choice of dried herbs, salt and pepper, to taste

1 Stir onions in hot olive oil until caramelized.

2  Add celery and stir.

3 Add stock, followed by hot water and bay leaf, and keep stirring.

4 Bring to a boil. Turn heat down to a simmer.

5 Add herbs, salt and pepper. Continue to let simmer for 30 minutes.

6 Add barley and let simmer until cooked.

7 Add spinach or rapini. Stir until slightly wilted.

8 Turn off heat. Serve with cheddar cheese biscuits and enjoy.

Bon appetit!

I don't...

Here at P&S, I talk a lot about what I do: love sparkles, have an anxiety disorder, write. But what about what I don't?

Inspired by Rags To Stitches, here's my I Don't list:

-I don't mind long bus rides. In fact, I enjoy them!

-I don't have any problem with working hard, every day, for the life I want. Healthy, successful, happy.

-I don't exercise as much as I'd like to. I can't, due to some of my numerous medical issues, but I'm taking baby steps to get back into it. I miss hiking!

-I don't know why it's taken me so long to become a Law and Order SVU fan. But now I'm hooked.

-I don't have a crush on Julianne Moore. Just kidding. I totally do.

-I don't like talking on the phone.

-I don't believe I will ever, ever get enough of the Ikea Monkey.

-I don't like Brussels sprouts. I do, however, loooove spinach and broccoli.

-I don't believe it's only been a few months since I was in New York City and Washington, DC. I have itchy feet!

-I don't mind making silly faces and eating cotton candy on camera. [What good memories!!].

-I don't regret switching from Instagram to Flickr.

Wow. This has turned into a real exercise in both reframing how I think while writing (negative instead of positive), and in getting to know myself on a deeper level. Really. You should try it, and link to your post in the comments below!

Downplaying Invisible Disability

I'm afraid of letting my disability define me, but more than that, I'm afraid of down-playing it, because 1) that does a disservice to others with disabilities, and 2) my loved ones won't understand that when I turn down an invitation or take an Ativan or the elevator or flake at the last minute, it's not because I'm lazy or being difficult-- it's because I sometimes require different aids or am anxious or my fatigue is debilitating. This makes me feel guilty and less-than and like a bad friend. The guilt and anxiety and my symptoms are things I'm working on, but I fear that isn't enough: I feel like a fake. I'm not in a wheelchair. I don't have cancer. My agoraphobic tendencies aren't full-blown agoraphobia.

Am I a fraud? Does applying for ODSP (provincial disability aid) make me greedy? Am I fool for thinking I'm part of the differently-abled community, and will be welcomed with open arms? Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

Most of the time I know I have no dishonest motives. I do need help. And I am trying.

This shit is hard. I just pray it will make me stronger.

Success or Suicide: On 'Black-and-White' Thinking

Note: This post may be triggering due to mention of suicidal thoughts.
 
When I was 16, I believed there were only two possibilities: by 21, I'd have it all figured out, or I'd be dead.

Around that time I took a CBT class, which went through all the major psychological coping mechanisms. What I didn't know then, was that one of them-- black and white, or 'all or nothing' thinking (also known as 'splitting')-- perfectly described what I was thinking-- and was a symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder, which, at the time, I did not believe I had.

On my way to class each Wednesday, I wrestled with this thought: 'I have to try my best, because this class might be my last hope. If I fail, I'll have no more options and I'll never be able to cope with my mental illness and then I'll have to kill myself'.

No rational thought could stop this pattern. I couldn't process that there's a grey area between success and failure, between success and suicide. That's black and white thinking.

I definitely didn't want to die, and I wasn't being dramatic, either. I was just so depressed, and overwhelmed by my untreated BPD, that I couldn't see a third option.

I wish I could hug my teenage self, tell her to hold on, because there's so much life she hasn't experienced yet. Most importantly, I wish I could tell her that, for certain now, I know therapy works, and antidepressants work, and believing in yourself works.

Whatever stage you're at in fighting your illness, I want you to know this: It's possible to recover. Even if you need medication (or don't). Even if you need therapy (or don't). Even if you don't believe in yourself at first. Even if you stumble sometimes (I know I still do!).

The world is not all black and white. Accept that there's an in-between, and believe that you deserve and can achieve amazing things (including recovery). Then, you'll thrive.

On Routine

I do not like routine, which is why I find this so frustrating:

I get accustomed to a motion that lasts for at least a few days... Say, a 30+ hour bus ride or a class or spending a lot of time with someone for a week straight.

When that changes, I'm shaken.

Like today.

I'm so used to this routine of being with my mom nearly 24/7 after our 1 and a half week-long trip, that now I don't know what to do with myself when I'm alone. It makes me anxious. Verge-of-a-panic-attack anxious. And I don't know what to do about it.

Every therapist I've seen has prescribed routine. But what do you do when your routine is not routine? I'm not sure yet.

Music Monday 14.1.2013: Let's talk about Les Miserables

It was way after my bedtime, but I heard music and wanted to know where it was coming from. I crept into the family room and curled up on the couch, intrigued.

Do you hear the people sing? / Singing the song of angry men? / It is the music of a people / who will not be slaves again! / When the beating of your heart / echoes the beating of the drums / there is a life about to start / when tomorrow comes!

What ever this music was, it was powerful. It made my little heart skip a beat... It sounded political. I didn't know much about politics, but I thought it was wonderful that Canada's leaders got together to sing about our freedom.

"Why is the prime minister singing, Mommy?".

My parents, totally engrossed in the film, hadn't noticed me until then. They both looked at me, bemused. "The prime minister? This is a musical. Les Miserables".

Okay, so it wasn't the government performing (and my parents still laugh at me for thinking that when I was 7). But that night, my life was changed forever. 

+

A few months later, I was sitting at the kitchen table, helping my mom make dinner. I grated cheese as I told her about my day at school. 
 
"So today in music class, my teacher asked everyone who their favourite singer was".

"Oh?"

"Yeah. All my friends named a Spice Girl".

"And who did you say?"


+

A precocious, theatre-obsessed 10 year-old, I put on 'shows' for my family at all our get-togethers. I made costumes, choreographed dance routines, memorized songs and made flyers, enlisting my cousins to perform with me (they sometimes complied).

Most of the time, my relatives would watch for five minutes, then go back to their Cribbage games or hors d'oeuvres, causing me to stamp my little feet and cry, "the show must go on!".

But one Saturday, wearing a little pink chiffon nightie, smeared rouge on my cheeks and flowers in my hair, I sang, "I dreamed a dream in time gone by /when hope was high and life worth living...". For some reason, they listened. All eyes were on me. I kept singing, finishing the song with a high note, crumpling to the ground, 'dead'. 
 
I don't know what made them pay attention that day. I know it wasn't my voice (which has always sub-par, killing the dream I dreamed of being a Broadway star... but that's another blog post). Perhaps it was the conviction with which I sang the words of a tragic classic? I've always been full of emotion, and an old soul.

+

In junior high, I was a drama nerd. I was a lead in the school play, wore elaborate costumes on a daily basis, and spent all my extracurricular time in the drama classroom. So of course, I was first to find out that our class was going to see Les Miserables at the Canon Theatre.

I screamed. "Mr Matheson, that's my favourite musical!". My friends knew that already (and were aware that I had had the whole thing memorized since I was 8), so they just rolled their eyes.

It wasn't my first time seeing a live Broadway show, but it was one of the best experiences (at a theatre and in general) I've ever had. 
 
+

I was in Alexandria, pacing around my hotel room and fiddling with the TV remote. I was feeling anxious, and hoping a morning in (preferably with something good to watch) would help. Turning to PBS, I froze. The 25th Anniversary performance of Les Mis was on TV! Just what I needed.
 
Happily sinking into bed, I realized: this musical has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. It's helped shape my world view (not to mention my taste in music). I consider that a blessing.

+
 
This is the longest Music Monday post I've ever written. But last night, I finally got to see the 2012 adaptation of Les Miserables, and I have to talk about it, or I'll burst!

To sum up how I feel about it:

+Best Gavroche ever. EVER.
+Eponine was amazing. For the record, she's my favourite character.
+I love Colm Wilkinson (see above). His cameo made me smile. I'm glad the film gave lifelong Les Mis fans a nod by casting him as the Bishop.
+Anne Hathaway was breathtaking as Fantine.

So for your listening pleasure, here's Anne Hathaway singing I Dreamed a Dream.

Polish & Sparkle: The Year In Review

With 2013's arrival, here's a look back at the best of Polish & Sparkle in 2012:

Body Image

5 Reasons to be Body Positive
You ARE Beautiful NOW
Body-Shaming Hurts Skinny Girls Too
  
Fashion & Beauty

Comfy, Cozy, Stylish Sweaters
Go For "Baroque"
Matryoshkas galore!
Winter Nail Polish Picks
♥ Like many fashionistas, I looooved colourblocking!
Poodle Skirts & Ponytails -- my 50s-inspired What I Wore post
How To Wear Neon
Simple & Chic in Atlanta
      
Travel

♥ I went to Buffalo, NY-- 3 times!
Niagara Falls (ON): 1 Day, On Foot
NYC's Museum of Sex
Snapshots from my trip to New York City & Washington, DC.
I went to Florida-- one of my favourite places.
Toronto's One of a Kind Christmas Show
   
Finance & Career

How To Get Great Job References
The Smart Broke Girl's Guide To Money
7 Indispensable iPhone Apps for Bloggers & Creative Business Owners

Mental Health

What To Do When You Can't Sleep
10 Little Things To Do For Yourself
DIY manicures changed my life!
What is Trichotillomania?
  
Me

I celebrated my birthday in style.
♥ I had a major existential breakthrough
♥ I wrote an open letter to 15 year-old me.

Other Stuff

♥ I explored Health At Every Size & shared why you should, too.
♥ I discovered 11 of the best things about being single.
I interviewed Emilie Autumn.

And I was published at other sites, including Examiner, Kind Over Matter and Florida Homeschooling.

Here's hoping 2013 is even better than 2012!

Things I Love Friday 7.12.2012

As I start this week's TiLF, I'm inspired by a quote my mom emailed to me:

Isn't that just beautiful? So optimistic and empowering. I love it!

This week....

I'm almost done my copywriting course at U of T! I've learned a lot and feel very accomplished. I earned 100% on my last assignment!

My bronchitis is finally going away.

I made a video to welcome you to Polish and Sparkle! The lighting is a little wonky because I'm not used to vlogging, but it's the thought that counts, right? Right?

Little things which made me smile:

Wearing earrings my best friends bought me (huge, vibrant flowers from Tush and a sweet little R and E from Chana). I feel pretty! Spending Tuesday with my mom. Buying a yellow and grey striped sweater dress (which I am obsessed with!). Sweet messages from Stacy. ♥ Lea Michele & Amber Riley's rendition of Take Me or Leave Me (from Rent) on repeat. ♥ My 'home state', Florida, is "the undisputed winner of WTF". I love you, Florida. Planning a visit to my out-of-town aunt's, for this weekend. ♥ Sharp cheddar cheese. Yum! ♥ This week's 2 Broke Girls was pretty great.

What was the highlight of your week?

Fuck the Haters: Multiculturalism is a Great Thing

What gives anyone the right to hate anyone else for simply being who they are? Whether we're black or white, woman or man, from the south or the north, who are you to judge?
I'm not going to be anything but what I am. I refuse to be anyone but who I am.

I will not lose weight because you're uncomfortable with my size.
I will not be more masculine so I fit the queer female stereotype.
I will not be more feminine to fit the girly stereotype.
I will not shut up to make anyone happy.

What caused me to write this post is all the hate I've gotten on a blog I posted about identifying with southern culture. Apparently some southern women (or men?) are feeling insecure and angry because I'm getting in touch with my southern heritage and am enamoured of aspects of a culture I experienced when I visited the south last year.

I didn't realize appreciating a culture would incite such rage! It's ridiculous.

The hilarious part, though, is that the messsages were all anonymous. These people don't even have the guts to put a face to their hateful words. That says a lot about them.

The lesson, here, is:

1 Keep being you. Revel in your fabulousness.

2 Fuck the haters. Let them stew in their putrid negativity. Don't give them the time of day.

3 Exploring your heritage and/or other cultures is a good thing. If anyone wants to keep you from that, it just means there's something wrong with them, not you. As long as you're respectful and genuine, you're doing nothing wrong. You're doing something wonderful.

Image: Rosario Dawson

On Religion


 I've already talked about growing up in a multicultural family, but I haven't much touched on religion-- part because it can be a very heavy, controversial topic, but mainly because, until recently, I haven't had much to say about it.

As a child, I was mostly exposed to Judaism. Both of my parents were Jewish, and my father's side of the family (I didn't yet know my mom's) was, too. We had Passover seders, celebrated Rosh Hashanah, and I went to Hebrew school on Sunday mornings.

Around my twelfth birthday, I developed great interest in religious traditions and values. I started having Shabbat dinners at my Bubby's house, demanded that we celebrate Purim (the holiday from which my name, Esther, comes), and begged my parents to let me have a Bat Mitzvah.

My Bat Mitzvah was one of the best days of my life.

Around my fifteenth birthday, I experienced two huge changes: my parents separated and I developed a chronic illness.

I sought solace in (among other things) spirituality. I discovered Paganism (Wicca, in particular), and dove in, reading everything I could get my hands on, saying spells, invoking the Goddess Bastet and learning about sabbats, runes and deities.

Since then, my religious views have become even more ecelectic; in addition to Judaism and Paganism, I have been reading about Native religions and Christianity. I'm happy to be multidenominational.

In short, I believe no one religion is right, necessarily, and there's no need to subscribe to just one. If many aspects from many religions resonate with you, that's wonderful. Believe! Celebrate! Observe! 

To me, religion is something to strengthen and celebrate who you are and what you believe in. What ever that is, embrace it.

Image

Pina Coladas & Productivity: Things I Love Friday 27.7.2012


Happy Friday, gorgeous!

I'm having a really great day today. I woke up super early to work on some projects (query letters, graphics for Fashion Beauty Body Image and research for Socialexis), so I'm energized and feeling accomplished. I'm going to do a few more hours' work, then spend the rest of the day organizing my office and watching a Monk marathon. What are you up to today?

Little things which made me smile this week:

♥ Getting used to my new hair ♥ Lunch with Chana, Tush & Shirley This songPina coladas and smoked blue cheese with my dad ♥ Minted by Revlon Cherry Pepsi
Cotton candy lip balm

Have a wonderful weekend!
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