How To Make This Year Your BEST YET!!

Happy 2012, beautiful!

Whether you've made new year's resolutions or not, there are lots of little things you can do to assure yourself an awesome year, one day at a time.

Here are 4 ideas to try:

1 Work on a 'what I love about myself' list. At the start of a new year it's so easy to focus on things we wish to change, especially with everyone around us bemoaning their sky-high debt or criticizing their cellulite-riddled thighs. Forget that! Focus instead on what you're doing right-- meditating weekly, conditioning your hair often or excelling at school.

2 Treat yourself & a friend to some really great hot chocolate, complete with marshmallows, whipped cream & a cherry on top! Yum.

3 Go through your underwear drawer, getting rid of holey socks & granny panties-- and replace them with stylish knee-highs & frilly, neon-coloured or pastel-hued knickers! You deserve to feel pretty. Your drawer of 'unmentionables' should reflect that.

4 Subscribe to a magazine that makes you feel good. Fashion mags are fun, but they don't necessarily have a great impact on our self-esteem. And while it's great to be well-informed, dry news magazines or newspapers can be upsetting rather than entertaining. Try Bust, Bitch or Shameless. Trust me!

What else would you add?

Image Source

advice for young girls

advice for young girls by anonymous (via galadarling.com)

I really like numbers 2 + 5! How about you? What would you add to this list?

xx Stay gorgeous!

Happy Birthday, Becca!

I celebrated my twentieth birthday today. I believe that, no matter your age, you have wisdom to impart to the world. So here's mine:

• Do what makes you happy.

• It's okay to be different. In fact, you will find that you're not 'weird' or 'fucked up'; you're special, and the people who love you will see that.

• Laughter and sex are not mutually exclusive.

• Reading "health" magazines is actually bad for your health.

• It's okay to ask for help.

• Sometimes when we're stressed, we forget to breathe. Stop and take a deep breath. You'll feel better.

• You're never too old for Toy Story.

• A change of scenery can change your life. Sometimes a trip is exactly what you need.

• Never doubt the power of hugs to bring people closer together-- not just literally.

• Self-love is essential. You are worth loving. Celebrate!

• Drinking multiple glasses of water each day is very good for you.

• Your true friends will stand by you, no matter what.

• Birthday cake is delicious year-round (not just on your birthday!).

• Learning to love your body is probably a lifelong process, so you had best get started now! It's worth it, and so are you.

• That old cliche, "age is just a number" is absolutely correct.

• Once in a while, ice cream for breakfast is divine.

How To: Look Gorgeous Without Makeup

A happily makeup-free Becca, with her love, Kamen.

I first started wearing make-up in junior high. It began with super-girly pink lipsticks and pastel eye shadows, then progressed to Goth-esque red lips and tons of eyeliner. I've definitely toned down my look since then, to the point that instead of 'putting on my face' every morning, I sometimes step away from the cosmetics completely.

The idea of going without oodles of black eyeliner used to petrify me. A lot of girls are afraid to be seen without makeup, and with good reason: we're expected to look perfect at all times-- slender, stretch mark-free, poised and polished, like the pages of a magazine. So can we afford to skimp on makeup?

Absolutely.

Here are some ways to rock the no makeup look.

1  Take care of your skin. Moisturize daily, exfoliate regularly + be sure to drink lots of water.

2  Groom those eyebrows. Extensive tweezing or waxing is not required-- simply pluck enough to enhance your brows' natural shape. This will give your face more definition and draw attention to your stunning eyes + cheekbones.

3  Most important of all: confidence is key! Know that you are beautiful + you do not have to look like a supermodel. In real life, even supermodels don't look like supermodels! Pounds of makeup and tons of photoshop contribute to that flawless look-- a look that's 100% unattainable. Even if it were possible to look that way, would we want to?

Your inner beauty shows outwardly, with or without makeup + a confident smile is more compelling than any computer-generated, idealized image ever will be.

7 Easy Body Image Boosters + Love Twenty

Marion Cotillard for Elle France

I am very excited to announce that I have joined Love Twenty's team of writers!! I'm thrilled to be a part of such an awesome online resource for women.

My first article will be live on the site very soon, but I wanted to give my wonderful Etched In Tin readers a taste before anyone else on the web!!

So, without further ado, here are 4 (of 7!) Easy Body Image Boosters.

:)  Write out a list of all the little things you like about your appearance. For example: 'I have fabulous legs'. 'My arms look awesome when I wear sleeveless tops'. 'I love how my eyes pop when I wear bright liner'. On 'ugly days', go over your list for a boost!

:)  Find a go-to clothing item that you always feel great in, be it a perfectly tailored pair of pants, sky-high heels or a little black dress.

:)  Check out the Health At Every Size (HAES) movement. HAES embraces the fact that we all have different sizes and shapes and health is more important than fitting society's beauty ideals.

:)  Cover your walls with photos and magazine clippings of your body image role models. Think of women who are comfortable with their figures, no matter what they look like. Emulate their confidence. Ideas to start your collection: Lizzie Miller (plus size model), your best friends, Christina Hendricks, Beth Ditto, Lady Gaga.

What would you add, gorgeous?

How To: Help a Loved One Cope With Her Mental Illness

Thanks to the devastating stigma attached to mental illness + the lack of research on most disorders, coming out as suffering from a mental illness is terrifying. Your loved one trusts you enough to have divulged this information. Bravo! You're on the right track! A support system is vital, especially for those combating severe disorders such as Schizophrenia, Bipolar or a personality disorder.

I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. The intense, unpredictable moods, irrational fears and feelings of vulnerability within relationships that it leads me to have impact my life every single day. Every moment, I am grateful for the people in my life who love me enough to stand by me, even when it's unbelievably hard.

A couple of days ago, during a particularly difficult episode, I talked to my ever-supportive boyfriend, Kamen.

I choked, "There's no way you could possibly want me, especially forever!" Through sobs, I continued, "Are you sure you love me enough to deal with decades of my fucked up meltdowns?!" BPD leads me to believe (almost always incorrectly, despite how real it feels) that the world is about to end and no one loves me... And on and on the terrifying thoughts go... It sounds over-dramatic, but I feel everything with this intensity, if not more.

But he simply said, "I'm damn positive".

I took deep breaths as he continued to reassure me that everything was okay and he loves me very much. I was soon able to calm down.

Your loved one is so lucky to have someone who cares enough to stand by her. Sometimes it can be difficult to know how to be there for her, especially if you have never experienced what she is going through. As someone who has a mental illness and helps others cope with their own, I've compiled a list to help you out.

Be empathetic. As painful as the position you're in is, recognize that your lover is hurting even more. Not only must she cope with her illness' symptoms on a regular basis, but she knows her illness pains you too.

Learn everything you can about the disorder. When I was diagnosed with Selective Mutism (SM), my mom read every article, newspaper clipping and book about SM she could get her hands on. Knowledge is power! Perhaps your loved one can share the books or websites that helped her.

Consider joining a support group for family, friends or lovers. You'll get some unique perspective and build a support network.

Recognize that your loved one is not her disease, BUT that it does affect her day-to-day life in a large, noticeable and uncontrollable way. Know that she has no say in this matter. Reassure her that you know it's hard and that as long as she does her best and remembers that you are there for her, everything will be okay.

Most importantly: Take care of yourself. Being there for your loved one is essential, but so is your own mental health. Never forget that! Take time to explore healthy coping skills of your own, be they meditation, making art or talking to someone you trust.

Forget "perfect": You're already beautiful!

Liz Taylor knew looking good on the beach is all about having the right attitude!!

With swimsuit season upon us, I've noticed a flurry of discussion (especially among women) of the stress we experience trying to tone-up and look perfect in itty bitty bikinis and filmy summer clothes.

What if I'm not tan enough? What if I'm too skinny or too fat? What if, what if, what if.

We're terrified of being thought of as anything but as flawless as the mannequins at Urban Planet or the models in Fashion Magazine. The truth is, those mannequins are plastic and those models are air-brushed-- a human can't look that way in 'real life', EVER.

This is common knowledge. And yet, we still beat ourselves up about not being perfect.

So how do we change this?

First, we need to acknowledge that we're almost never being carefully, cruelly scrutinized when we think we are. The other girls on the beach aren't looking at your stretch marks, and the men you sleep with aren't judging your scars. Other girls are too busy worrying about their own perceived imperfections and guys are too busy simply being stoked that they're in bed with you.

Instead of fixating on your "flaws", focus on what you feel confident about. Wear something that makes you feel pretty, that emphasizes your best features (and STOP reading magazine articles that tell you to cover your 'arm flab' and 'muffin top'! Focus on the positive!) Remember that no one is perfect.

You are beautiful. Enjoy the rest of your summer!

Shit Happens

I thought I was stranded.

I've never been to Washington DC. I've never been outside of Canada by myself, either. And having quite a history of having panic attacks at inopportune times, let's just say I was expecting the worst, when I found out my bus ticket had been mixed up.

All is well, now. I just think everyone could use a reminder now and then that sometimes, things don't work out exactly the way we plan, nor the way we think we want them to.

So. Next time something has you stressed because it's not going according to plan, here's what to do:

1 Take a deep breath.

2 And another.

3 When you're breathing normally and feel calmer, try to think rationally about all your options. Believe me, one is most capable of logical thinking when calm, so...

4 Take more deep breaths!

And remember, it will be okay!

Sending y'all love from the road,
Becca