I love winter.
Fresh-baked gingerbread. Wearing slippers and sipping hot chocolate
while I write, cats nestled by my side. Holiday dinners with family and
friends. Christmas trees, menorahs, fluffy snow everywhere...
But I also hate winter.
Daily panic attacks because of the weather. Scrubbing my hands until
they're raw, because the person sitting next to me on the bus coughed.
Fearing I can't pay the heating bill because I'm underemployed but still
was turned down for disability. Icy fingers and toes (which is saying
something, for an anemic). Being sad that I don't have the strength to toboggan or snowshoe like I used to.
Thus is life for a spoonie; things you once enjoyed, you can't as much (or at all);
things you once paid no mind to, make life incredibly difficult. Winter
also brings Seasonal Affective Disorder (or symptoms thereof),
additional expenses, like heating, boots and warm clothes (difficult to
afford if you're un- or under-employed thanks to a disability), and
unfortunate run-ins with family members who don't 'get' the illness
you're dealing with. And every day, you're forced to struggle with pain,
fatigue and stigma on top of it all.
Do you have a love-hate relationship with winter? How do you cope?
